Mixed Signals Suck

Today I decided that my eternal dating dilemma is trying to decipher mixed signals. I consider myself to be a pretty good communicator, and I have no idea how to play games. I usually find that the people you encounter who most fervently claim to hate playing games are the ones who do it best. It’s like that’s part of the game. I’m not saying I hate it — I’m saying I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

I’ll be the first to admit I have no game. I’m too honest. I have trouble hiding how I feel, especially if I really like (or dislike) someone, and I don’t see why you should have to. I think my ideal situation would be feeling able to be open about how I feel (even — maybe especially — if it’s awesome) and having the other person be thrilled about that instead of freaking out about it. Especially after they have made you feel like you are “special” to them. Maybe that’s just me being gullible.

Some would say I have a bad habit of being attracted to players. Maybe it’s the whole bad boy thing. Maybe I am just gullible enough to believe the bullshit they spew. Hmm. Maybe I am THAT girl.

But guys, let me tell you something. It’s not a good idea to spend a lot of time professing how wonderful you think someone is and how special they are and how different from other girls in your life they are unless you want them to believe it for real. I have serious trust issues, and I do everything in my power to be skeptical of everything anyone ever says to me. But eventually I can be convinced.

Once I am convinced and act like I am, things start to change. Suddenly if I act appreciative of some special act, he freaks out. “Oh no! Too clingy! Mustn’t let her think there is anything special about her!” SO DON’T DO THINGS TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL. AND DEFINITELY DON’T TELL ME I AM if that is not the desired result. If I am just another girl, or just one of many, PLEASE don’t spend so much time trying to convince me otherwise. I promise it will be better for everyone in the long run if we just don’t go there.

I can be pretty open with my heart once I trust you. And if I finally get to that point and then you make me feel like maybe I’ve made a mistake and fallen for it once again…that sucks. And it makes me not like you very much. And it makes me really not want to date ever again.

So, yeah. If you’re a guy and you’re reading this, please examine your behavior for potentially mixed signals you may be sending out. I don’t have time for the games — I got a life to live, yo.


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