My One Joke

So, I had possibly the worst day ever. Okay, not ever. But easily the worst day I’ve had in the last 2 years. And I really need laughs right now. So I’m gonna tell a joke. And y’all better fucking laugh or else we’re not friends anymore.

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down, and the bartender says, “Hey, man. You look terrible. You must be in the right place today.”

The guy says, “Man, I had the worst day. I have to go on this business trip, so I went to the travel agency. And the girl who was helping me was so freaking hot. I mean, hot! Perfect. Long blonde hair, big eyes, big — anyways.”

Bartender says, “Hmm, nice. You’ll have to give me the name of the agency. I may need to take a trip soon.”

The guy says, “So, it took me a minute to even get myself together enough to speak to her, because I was so nervous. I mean, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I got nervous talking to a girl. But I was sweating! And when I finally opened my mouth, do you know what came out?”

Bartender says, “Surprise me.”

“‘I’d like two tickets to Tittsburgh, please.’ I can’t believe I said that! I am such an idiot!!! And to think I had been waiting for the right time to ask for her number! Yeah, like that’s gonna happen!”

Bartender says, “Man, I know how you feel. But you know, that shit happens on occasion. Happens to the best of us. Here, I’ll give you an example. Just recently, I was sitting down to breakfast with my wife. She makes a good breakfast. Bacon and eggs, usually. And she said to me, ‘Honey, can you pass me the sugar for my oatmeal?’ And you know what I said? I said, ‘You fucking bitch! You’ve ruined my life!'”

“So, see? It could happen to anyone. Don’t feel bad. This one’s on me.”



  1. Jeff said,

    July 14, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    🙂 I am laughing

  2. meggitymegs said,

    July 14, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    LOL good that means we’re still friends, then.

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