“Don’t let the spiked hair fool you — like I’m not a bitch.”

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I have finally jumped on the Jersey Shore bandwagon. When the show first came out, I was (like most people, I think) mortified that someone would actually watch that and concerned about what it meant about our collective intelligence level. I am also not a fan of reality shows in general, for many reasons. The people are just fake fame-whores. There is not much reality in them at all. I read enough to keep up with popular culture, even if I am not immersed in it myself, so I knew all about GTL and Guidos and Snooki and all that crap. And I still had no desire to see it. Then, a couple weeks ago, my friend and I had the following conversation:

Friend: “We have to watch the season premiere of Jersey Shore Season Two tonight!”
Me: “Whaaaaaat? Nooooo.”
Friend: “Yeah! It’s so funny! You have to experience it!”
Me: “I don’t care about watching a bunch of stupid idiots get drunk.”
Friend: “That’s because you haven’t watched it with me. There is so much more to it than that. Just watch one episode, and then if you don’t want to see any more, you don’t have to.”
Me, thinking this sounds like a good compromise: “Okay. I guess one hour won’t kill me.”

We started with the first episode of Season Two. Two days later, I’d seen every episode that ever aired.

I typically abhor drama, particularly in my own life. Although some friends of mine may disagree with that, because I often have drama going on in my life (but not usually of my own making). I also can’t stand catty girls. But it is SO much more fun to laugh at other people’s dumb drama and cattiness. It makes you appreciate the sheer lack of it in your own life by comparison.

On Jersey Shore, someone is always getting punched in the face — and ALWAYS with good reason. They will punch people being punks at the club (“She called Snookers fat and that like triggered me, umm, so I threw my drink in her face. I was gonna try to uppercut her, but at that point I had too many bouncers wrapped around me.“), haters on the boardwalk (“Damn, the kid’s sleeping right now. That’s what you get for talking shit.”), people who are bullying others (“GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, BRO! THAT’S ONE SHOT! THAT’S ONE SHOT, KID!“) and even each other for being assholes (“Mike, he’s a creep, I mean at this point you’re lucky I don’t crack you in your face right now.”) I mean, I won’t lie and say I’ve never wanted to punch any of my friends in the face, and they’re all great people. But sometimes people are shits, you know?

I love how these random people got thrown together and became friends, and then became like family. All these kids are decent people at heart. They have their flaws, but who doesn’t? Most of their Italian culture reminds me of ours here in the South — the whole “don’t mess with my people or I will fuck you up” attitude. We hang together. We stand up for our own. (“How do you watch a girl get punched in her face and do nothing?“) Family is everything, and we treat our true friends like family members. (“I think what happened to Snookers brought us a lot closer to her, definitely. I mean, we get on her and stuff like that, but we still care for her.”) In fact, there are a lot of similarities between Italian and Southern culture:

The family is the center of the social structure and provides a stabilizing influence for its members. In the north, generally only the nuclear family lives together; while in the south, the extended family often resides together in one house. The family provides both emotional and financial support to its members. Prefer to do business with people they know and trust. In the north, people are direct, see time as money, and get down to business after only a brief period of social talk. In the south, people take a more leisurely approach to life and want to get to know the people with whom they do business. Generally highly satisfied with social relations and family, health care, daily life and friendship relations; however, find economic status and job opportunities generally less satisfying, especially with the fact that Southern states still suffer from relatively high unemployment. Those from the Southern region generally perceived to be less intelligent by the rest of the country. Place great importance on religion and family. Originally an agricultural society. Reverential about food. Proud of contributions to history. Serious about preserving honor. Not afraid to call people on their bullshit. Accustomed to living with false stereotyping. Love car racing. Jersey Shore = Myrtle Beach (or Panama City Beach).

My advice to those haters out there who think they’re above this type of entertainment: stop being such a snobby asshole. This is the first reality show I’ve ever seen in which the people act like real people who have real ups and downs and real shining moments, as well as real low points. (“Down here at the Shore, one minute you got three girls in the jacuzzi. Next minute, somebody’s in jail and you have to bail them out.”) And the girls will only put up with the cock-blocking and drama-starting for so long before they have to take action. (“I’m putting Vaseline on my face, I’m taking my earrings out, I’m putting my hair up, and I’m beating the crap out of her.”)

Also? Get over the fact that none of them are from New Jersey. It’s called Jersey Shore because it’s located on the Jersey shore. What is so hard to grasp about that? As Pauly D would say, “Don’t spill the haterade.”



  1. August 9, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Love this! “I guess one hour won’t kill me” will get you every time. I was also a delayed fan, but I love this crap. Granted, it is ridiculous. But its clear that these kids are dead serious. This is their reality. Beat up the beat!

    • meggitymegs said,

      August 9, 2010 at 11:08 am

      Whitney, yes! It is their reality. And it is hilarious. And ridiculous. But hilarious nonetheless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: