Football for Dummies (And by dummies I mean girls.)

Two of my best friends are huge Auburn football fans — one because he goes to school there and the other because he wishes he did. After spending a lot of time with them recently, I’ve gotten thrown onto the SEC football bandwagon. I have never been a big football fan, even though I never missed a single game in high school, because I’ve never understood it too well. I’ve been to countless Superbowl parties where I was like, “Where’s the food?” Because I couldn’t care less about the game. And professional sports are so much less interesting than college anyway. Pro players are lazy and slow. They are already making millions. College players work hard because they’re trying to get there.

Not to mention, the Carolina Panthers, which is the team I would pull for based on my location, never makes it that far. And how do you pick a pro team otherwise? I feel no connection to any other area, so what are you gonna do? Maybe the Steelers just because I have great friends who are from and live in the Pittsburgh area and are huge fans. Otherwise, it’s really based on who your friends like. Right?

Anyway, the boys are all about answering all my dumb girly questions about how it works, and it’s not like I’m playing dumb to get attention. I really actually want to understand it, because it seems to be so much fun to them and I feel like I”m missing out. Some of the best tips they’ve given me are as follows.

Me: I can never tell who has the ball.
Them: Watch the team to the right of the scrimmage line and then watch the quarterback after the snap.
*I should probably note here that this was three games after I said, “How do they get those lines drawn on the field so fast and then take them away?” Obviously, the last time I was watching football with any interest was before this new amazing technology was invented.*

Me: So there are four downs and then the other team gets the ball, right? When and why do they punt?
Them: They punt on the fourth down to get the ball as far away as possible so that when the other team gets the ball they have to start their downs way far away.

Common sense tells a person what an interception or a fumble is. I get that much. I now at least get the concept of downs and the fact that they represent four tries to reach a touchdown, and the number following the X Down and ___ means that’s what yard line they’re at. Incomplete means when they try to pass it and no one catches it. As for all that other stuff, like off sides and what have you, I don’t really get that. But I don’t think I really need to.

That, my friends, is all you really need to know about football to enjoy watching a game if you have a team you are passionate about. As I said, Auburn is my team now because of my buddies. Which is cool because they are way better than any ACC teams that people around here root for. As my buddies say, SEC sets the standard.  Also, Auburn is awesome because they have a great student section at home games (also the reason I became a big Duke basketball fan back in the day), they have unique chants and cries, and their current quarterback, Cam Newton, is freaking amazing and can run an effortless 40 yards for a touchdown like it’s a leisurely stroll in the park. His calves are the size of small Russian cars. He breezes up the field like it is nothing, and so far this season they’re undefeated largely because of him.

And then there’s the whole War Eagle thing — their mascot is the Tigers but they also have an actual eagle that flies around the stadium, and the battle cry is “War Damn Eagle!” When you are out in public and wearing anything Auburn related, another fan or alum will see it and say, “War Eagle!” in greeting. The appropriate response to that is either “War Eagle!” Or “War Damn Eagle!” As in, I acknowledge you as a member of the club. It’s like a secret handshake. I love that. This only happens very occasionally around here when I wear my Auburn shirt that they gave me so I could truly represent (lol), but when I’m in Atlanta it’s much more frequent due to the proximity to Auburn. There are more fans and alums down that way than here for sure. Either way, any time it happens I get a little thrill like I’m a member of a secret club.

Anyways, today was the first game I watched alone and really understood. Even though I texted a couple questions here and there to my buddies in Alabama. But I was actually pretty proud of myself for following it as well as I did and having the correct reactions at the correct times. LOL. Luckily they think it’s kinda cute to explain stuff to the girl who doesn’t quite understand but is trying so hard. 😉 And it was a good, close game against LSU who was #6 to Auburn’s #5 in the SEC rankings. Tied at halftime, and Auburn really had to pull it out in the fourth quarter for the win.

See? Do I sound like a real football fan now? LMAO!

P.S. Cam Newton is totally hot. So there’s my girly take on it. Good thing he’s eligible for one more season before he goes pro. 🙂 Man, I can’t wait to go to a home game in person. Apparently tickets are really expensive, which sucks. One day I will be able to afford it, I KNOW!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: