Tasty Tuesday: Chewy Gobstoppers?!?

Leave it to your best friends to crack you up at all hours of the day…and night. I got an ecstatic call last night informing me that my friend had just bought every box of Chewy Gobstoppers at this one service station, because they are his favorite artificial fruity candy and terribly elusive…which is part of the fun of Wonka candies anyway. They are all sort of elusive. As a kid, the regular Gobstoppers were my favorite, back when I didn’t care if I broke a tooth because I didn’t have to worry about not being able to afford going to the dentist. Some of my best Saturdays were spent sprawled in my friend Alice’s floor, watching movies (or Duke basketball) and chomping hard candy. But I swear to you, I had never even heard of Chewy Gobstoppers until last night. I didn’t even know they made such a thing. And now I am on a quest! If you see them, grab some for me…and watch me turn violet, Violet!

Update: I still can’t find these here, but I was in Alabama recently visiting friends and got several boxes. They are everything I expected and more. 🙂 I’m thinking about buying a carton online.

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Random Pet Peeve: Beverage Glasses

It drives me crazy when people fail to use the appropriate glass for a specific type of beverage. Wine should not be drunk out of juice glasses. Mixed drinks should not generally be drunk from pint glasses unless you are having a Mind Eraser or an Irish Car Bomb. This rule doesn’t count if you’re in college and need to consume your alcohol in any way possible. But if you’re an adult, please. Refer to the Crate & Barrel catalog and order an entire set of glasses for every possible type of drink imaginable. I promise it won’t cost you an arm and a leg, and you will be so much cooler. Do it!

Random Survey for Adults

These are the best for when you’re bored and feeling uncreative. And I never miss a chance to talk about myself. Ha.

What bill do you hate paying the most?
My personal postage bill at work, because I’m always hoping my mileage will cancel it out.

Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Home. Or in the woods.

Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Boozer. No, I’m not kidding. She rocked.

What do you really want to be doing right now?
Kicking through the surf on St. John.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Archaeologist.

Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It’s my current favorite hoodie, because it’s really soft and made from recycled materials.

GAS PRICES First thought?
Speculation.

If you could visit anywhere and take someone with you…
I want to see all the unexplained historical sites in the world, and I’d like to take my friend Kerri with me, because I know she would appreciate it as much as I would.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
That can’t be right…

Last thought before going to sleep last night?

Is Birdy breathing? She’s so still…

Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Boxer briefs.

What errand/chore do you despise?
Vacuuming.

If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?

Probably not at an art gallery, but I would volunteer somewhere. Probably lots of places.

Get up early or sleep in?
I enjoy both depending on the occasion. It’s the choice that’s the important thing.

What is your favorite cartoon character?
Stewie Griffin on Family Guy.

Do you see yourself married in the next five years?
I can’t even think about the next five days.

Your favorite lunch meat?
Totally depends on where it’s coming from. But I guess turkey.

What do you get every time you go into a WalMart?
I couldn’t tell you the last time I was in a WalMart. I try really hard not to give them my money so they can use it to exploit people.

Beach or lake?
Ooh, I love both.

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I think it depends on the people involved. For some people it is. For some it is not.

TV show you miss?

Battlestar Galactica (the newest one).

Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?

Hehe…Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. I love Diego Luna.

What’s your drink?

Let’s try this from another angle. What’s not my drink? Anything involving brown liquor.

Cowboys or Indians?
Native Americans.

Do you cheer for the bad guy in a movie?
Depends on the bad guy. The best villains have some sympathetic quality, so you kinda want to cheer for them.

What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
At the moment, none, because I weight like five thousand pounds. But I have had people tell me (during thinner times) Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, and Christina Ricci (when I had dark hair).

If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be?

Kate.

What do you want when you are sick?

My mom, Ginger Ale, and sleep.

Who from high school would you like to run into?
Andrew Cooley!

What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Probably some classic rock station. I don’t really listen to the radio.

Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Having a negative self-image.

Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I have my own office, but I do like the other people I work with without exception.

If you could get away with it, whom would you kill?
I know I’m supposed to say “no one,” but I would like to rid the world of people who inflict cruelty upon others (like rapists and child abusers and people who hurt animals).

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?

Today? Hmm. Maybe Seth MacFarlane.

What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Today? Hmm. Maybe Jake Gyllenhall.

Have you ever had to use a firearm?

Nope. nor would I have a clue as to how if I did.

Last book you read?

Currently I’m reading “Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories” by John Edward.

DO YOU HAVE A TEDDY BEAR?
No. I have never really been that into stuffed animals.

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
On the runway of a former Air Force base in northern Maine with a toothbrush sterilized by vodka, with 70,000 of my closest phriends. 🙂

Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
Never been to CA at all, but I’d love to see San Francisco and everything north of there.

Number of texts in a day?
Maybe one every few days.

Favorite Winter Olympic Sport?
Ooh! Tough one! I love figure skating and ski-jumping. And bobsled and luge.

Pencil or pen?
Pen. But pencil for marking in books.

Ancient Egyptians or Mayans?

Ooh! I don’t know. Probably Egyptians.

Are you where you thought you would be at this age?
Nope. But that’s not a bad thing.

Random Survey

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*Disclaimer: This Is a Joke. Just in case you were wondering.

What are three ways to win your heart?
1.  Treating my dog like the very special lady she is.
2. Writing me love letters — honest but not sappy.
3. Making me feel appreciated and special.

Do you like lightning?
Sometimes. More often than not I start worrying about tornadoes, though. If I know I’m safe and there is no imminent threat to my life, then yes I find it beautiful.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair?
In college, I used to cut my roommate Scott’s hair, which led to becoming the unofficial UNCA Tennis team barber. I would never attempt to cut girl hair, though.

Last person you said “I hate you” to?
I don’t say that to  people…….’s faces. I’m kidding! I love everyone.

Rain or sunshine?
Sun is shining, the weather is sweet. Make you want to move your dancing feet.

Last stupid thing you said to anyone?
I take great pleasure in the notion that smoking might kill me before things actually get worse.

Biggest turn off?
Lack of intelligence.

Would you date someone who smokes?
No comment.

Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
Uh…depends on the drug?

What’s your biggest turn on, physically?
Hair/eyes. Specifically, sandy or blonde and blue.

Have you ever dated someone more than once?
Yep. Several times.

If you could go on ONE date with any celebrity, who would it be?
Adrian Grenier.

Do you hold grudges?
I do, but only temporarily. I’ll be fine in ten years.

Hugger or kisser?
How can that be an “either or” question?

Most important lesson you’ve learned from your exes?
People are just who they are. And you shouldn’t expect them to change.

Name three things you would not tolerate in a relationship.
1. Cheating.
2. Abuse.
3. Pet mistreatment.

Last person to see you cry?
Courtney.

Who/what made you cry?
Insecurity.

Are you a forgiving person?
I think so.

I’ve come to realize the last person who gave me a hug…
is one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

What was the last thing you burnt?
Sage leaves or sandalwood incense.

What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
Probably a North Face winter coat.

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
This is not something that happens in my life.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Archaeologist.

When did you first start feeling older?
As ridiculous as it sounds now, my 24th birthday was the first one that I didn’t want to tell anyone how I old I was. But I’ve always felt older than I actually am.

Favorite guilty pleasure?
Smoking.

Is it awkward when you run into your exes?
I try not to, but yes.

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Many times. Mainly in high school.

Can you make yourself cry?
No. If I’m crying, it’s for real, man.

Random Pet Peeve

sneeze_682_473022a

Sneezing. With food in your mouth. Gross.

Random Survey

tgif

…because I need something to do while I eat my lunch.

What’s bothering you right now?
The fact that my secret IM friend that I chat to while we’re at work off and on throughout the day just went offline to go to her company picnic. Boo.

What’s on your TV right now?
My TV at home is playing the movie Two Weeks Notice so my dog has something to listen to while she dozes.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
I guess.

Your backround on your phone ?
A picture of Birdy lounging in the hammock with me.

Where was your default picture taken?
At my house in Asheville that I miss very much.

Do you like phone calls or text messages better?
Depends on the person and the situation. I like it when my boss texts me, and I like it when I’m in a bad mood or in a hurry.

What is the last thing you drank today?
Ice water.

What are you doing this weekend?
Attending an Italian dinner hosted by my neighbors. Working on an art project I am making. Putting together an order of map stationery for a shop in Atlanta. And I dare say, drinking some beers.

What are you listening to?
Someone being trained in the next room. And my computer making “I’m working” noises.

Have you hit someone today?
No. Nor have I contemplated it. Yet.

Do you burn easily in the sun?
I’m half-Irish, half-Scottish. What do you think?

What/who do you miss?
I miss Asheville, or rather, living in a place like Asheville. I miss living in a house versus an apartment. I miss the mountains. I miss hippies. I miss my twenties. 🙂

What are you going to do after this?
Clean up my lunch dishes. Prepare for a meeting with a “consultant.” Try to figure out how to become a “consultant.”

Do you love Family Guy?
It might be my all-time favorite show. I have seen every episode more than once. It’s one of the only shows that makes me laugh out loud, even when I am alone.

Is there anything you would like to say to someone?
How come you never leave comments on my blog?

Doesn’t orange juice taste terrible after you brush your teeth?
Yes. Yes, it does.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
No. It turns itself off all the time, though, when the battery dies.

Who is currently in your house?
Birdy, sleeping in her pink recliner and barking at other dogs passing by.

Where would I have found you last night at 11:00 pm?
Asleep on the couch with the History Channel on TV.

Who was the last person to say “I love you” to you?
My friend Courtney. I have been having a bad week.

Do you care what people think of you?
I think everyone cares to some extent. But I think I probably care a lot less than most people.

Do you dislike anyone at this moment in time?
I seriously dislike Megan Fox.

Do you like water?
Love to drink it. Love to be in it. Love to look at it.

Are you wearing any socks?
Ew, no. I hate socks. I’ll be wearing flip flops (yes, even to the office – what?) until it’s cold enough to worry about losing feeling in my toes.

What’s the last piece of clothing someone borrowed from you?
People generally do not borrow clothing from me. I don’t know a lot of other short, pudgy hippies.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
That would depend on who it was. And in what way.

You kissed someone today, didn’t you?
Yep – Birdy! Oh, she’s not a person, you say? You know nothing of my world.

Have you ever had someone sing to you?
Yes, lots. But my favorite is Swamp, who sings when he plays guitar and belts it out so that the mountains echo it back and the deer scatter, even though he can’t carry a tune in a paper poke. His sister, a professional singer, says he compensates for pitch with volume. He puts his heart into it, though. And perhaps not surprisingly, he can sing Bob Dylan songs very well.

Any upcoming events you’re excited about?
I’m excited about hanging out with friends this weekend and getting to work on some art projects. I don’t look too much farther ahead than a couple days — some would say, to my own detriment.

What’s your plan for this Thursday?
Huh. See previous answer. That’s like 6 days from now.

Do you love someone you would give up anything for?
There is a limit to what I would give up for anyone.

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked?
Yes, lots of times.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
I think it’s best to not live with regrets, because everything in the past worked together to bring you to the point you’re at now. But now that I am officially old, as of last Sunday, I am willing to admit that yes, there are a few things I would probably change, given the opportunity. I’m no longer sure that every bad choice is worth the learning experience.

Are you still going to do what you said you’d do at the end of this survey?
Yep. Off I go!

Random Poetry

At Reinbach Falls

Up the mountain we are pulled.
A stream appears through the muddle of trees.
A field glances out between trunks.
I reach outside the funicular
letting my fingers graze damp, cool rock.
We’re entirely surrounded here
by the greens of leaves, stems, trees.

At the top,
I can hear before I see –
the way hearts sometimes know
before heads –
the graceful thundering.
Peering over a stout wooden fence
and across a small ravine,
the falls of Sherlock and Moriarty.
Too high to see the spilling-over point.

Squatting on a rock,
I point for Jackie,
showing her how to watch
for falling water
between tall, waving grasses
and flowers on the hillside.

We hush ourselves and listen
to the thunder.
To the left is a field.
In the field is a house.
Behind the house is a mountain:
solitary
towering
rugged.

This water never freezes.

September 1998

Random Poetry

The Concerto Will Be Televised

A man in black
performs
with a ribbon of sheen
running the length of his matte pants;
the trickling tears of salty sweat dripping
from his chin onto the keys.
Hands wobble on whole notes.

I can’t stand not knowing if he’s
nervous
or bursting inside
with joy and release.
He returns a glance and
the conductor is pained,
the principal second caught
eyes closed, startled —
at missing an entrance.

Mopping his brow between
movements,
a white hanky glares
on lacquered black wood.
The Andante compels me
to weep —
insuppressibly, like an onion.
I pause my breath,
exhale emphatically
willing away fumes and delivering
one grain of salt
into a cut nearly healed.

This man is older and lacks a certain
flamboyance.
Arising from a deep crevasse
another pianist floats icy trills
up towards me, past me
rounded air hangs
and delicately dissipates –
the time signature of youth
exploding.

Fingers race the Finale. Arms jerk
assuredly;
eyebrows raise, schlepping eyes.
Cheeks bubble and flush,
pulses syncopate and
Here it is —
forgotten feeling long lamented —
everyone is triumphant.

October 1999

Random Pet Peeve: Unmedicated Adult ADHD

add

Especially when your child is medicated for ADHD, and you share all the same symptoms. And when it affects my life.

I Don’t Get It: Tornado Drills

Does anyone seriously believe that doing this

drill

will do anything at all to protect a human being from something that can do this?

damage

I don’t get it.

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