Pet Peeves of the Day

Illegible captchas. Seriously, WHAT is the point of human verification methods that real humans cannot decipher???

The word “caveat.” I don’t know why I don’t like it. I think it’s overused, and people generally use it only to make themselves sound smart.

People who make frustrated noises from another room loud enough for you to hear because they want you to say something. If you need to vent, just tell me. I don’t mind listening. But don’t be all passive aggressive and make me ask.

Receiving the same email announcement multiple times in one day. I saw it the first time!

When my boss forwards me email announcements even though I’ve told him multiple times I get those too.

People who continually misspell my name even though they see it in their email inbox multiple times a day.

People who have joint Facebook accounts with their spouse or partner. You are not ONE PERSON!

The neighborhood hooligans who insist on leaving their fast food wrappers in the ditch by my mailbox all the time.

Verizon’s new policy of charging $2.00 per 411 call. Do you think I’d use that service in the first place if I had any other option?

The fact that in order to ship something to Switzerland it costs me less than $3.00, but God forbid I want a tracking number to make sure the second shipment doesn’t get lost/stolen like the first one, it’s $30.00.

The fact that my 10-year clean driving record counts for absolutely nothing the one time I roll through a stop sign because I think I might be late for work, with no other cars in sight and the fear of what might happen if I no longer have a job to be late for. Because one day out of thousands I forget to push the button on my alarm clock over to the “set” position.

As Jenny remarked recently, the phrase, “point person.” Stupid professional lingo. Similarly hated is “price point.” As if the word “price” does not suffice.

The fact that Facebook doesn’t separate my “likes” from my “friends.” I am not friends with flip flops. I like them, but I don’t want them on my friend list.

People who email me with supposedly crucial issues and then fail to get back to me for weeks.

The fact that my boss finds it simpler to have me waste 45 minutes at the Post Office trying to ship a package to his sister in England, when he could have just ordered her kids some clothes online and had it shipped directly, probably at a lower “PRICE POINT.” Note to self: don’t try to save yourself time by filling out a customs form in advance. Invariably, whichever one you choose will be wrong. Even if it was right the last time.

Thank you, and good night.

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Random Pet Peeve: Noises I Can’t Make Stop

kid

My company recently moved into a new building, and while I was once plagued by too much silence in my office, I am now going crazy with all the freaking noise. A brief list:

1) Strange buzzing/squawking coming from window vicinity. Could be ducks. Could be window rattling. Could be coworker’s hearing aid. Wait, does he have a hearing aid? Maybe not. NO idea.

2) I can hear door chimes from two different businesses from my desk. Two different pitches. Blessing or curse?

3) Some interior doors don’t catch well in the frame (jam?), thus perpetual, repeated slamming. People, once or twice I can forgive. Anything beyond that and you’re just not using your brain.

4) There is that damn buzzing again! Now it sounds like muffled telephone operators.

5) People speak so loudly at the business next to us that I can hear them in my office. It sounds like a freaking high school gymtorium over there.

6) One can hear the bathroom plumbing running from anywhere in the building every time someone flushes.

7) One of the attorneys next door dips (as in chewing tobacco). What can I tell you? It’s the South. He probably spits into a Mountain Dew can also. Unfortunately the men’s room is fairly close to my office, and I can hear him harking up a lung every day. I mean, WHAT IS THAT? Are you accidentally swallowing some juice or what, man??

Update: The weird window squawking really IS birds! I saw them! I don’t know what kind, but they are big and gray and look like this:

Northern%20Mockingbird

This is a mockingbird. I have no idea if that’s what these birds are, but… Have you ever seen the movie Failure to Launch with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker? Terrible, awful movie, except for Zooey Deschanel (love her endlessly) who spends most of the film as the weird sidekick roommate being driven crazy by a mockingbird outside her bedroom window. I kinda sympathize now.